Summer is ending

I had a great vacation time and am grateful for the time away. Carl and I finally finished the screened in porch out back and would love for you to stop by and see it as you have time/interest. Peter Oluli is working very hard to dig a French drain system in our back yard so that our patio can be poured soon. If you don’t know what a French drain system is, don’t feel bad. Essentially, it means Peter has to dig a very deep hole and several long trenches, all the while moving, by hand or with my very small yard cart, enormous amounts of very heavy dirt. He is keeping a very happy heart through it all. He told me that Cody (the golden retriever) tried to help but is no good with the spade!

Grandma and I canned 39 quarts of tomatoes and she did all the messy work – cleaning, skinning, slicing etc. Lucky me. I also picked about 2 pies worth of blackberries. No new jam this year as my crop is small and the dog has eaten most of what he can reach.

Grandma & Grandpa both live with us and we took both to several doctor appointments last week. We learned that her cancer is spreading unchecked in her liver so chemo treatments are being changed to an oral method that might be helpful. Grandpa's heart problems that continue to worsen. In addition, we got word yesterday of another death in Grandma's family; the second in four months. Carl won’t take Grandma to Arkansas for the funeral as the trip is too hard. In all, she is still up and about, doing laundry, feeding my kids and such. Grandpa is tired most of the time and naps a lot.

The children and I are busy getting ready for school. All the too small clothes are going out so we know what we need. They've grown like weeds this summer. My son's feet are as big as mine now ~ and he is only 9! I'm sad for the end of long days with no homework. I look foward to a quieter house where I can work at home in the afternoons!

All and all, it's been a long and lovely summer! Blessings, Annette

Praying to Be

Even these trees out my window, now at their most lush, are but a temporal thing ~ less real than the love of God, less true than the Holy Spirit which pours that love into our hearts.

We are, all of us, fallen and weak creatures for whom joy is an ever escaping thing. We give our discomforts power greater than they actually possess, rooted in fear as they are.

Our fears . . . they are fears of loss and change and not knowing. We pray to know, as if we can. We do not pray simply to be. . .believing that we could never do that~just be.

Therein is our deepest, most unspeakable fear ~ not to exist. And so we think and speak and act, thereby earning the right to exist.

God told the prophet that human sacrifices were not wanted. Broken hearts are wanted ~ hearts that are empty save for the want of God.

Help me, O God, to be as you desire ~ to be at a complete loss for thoughts and words and deeds which surely are meant only to prove my right to live. Help me to believe; deep down truly and only believe that in your love alone I am worthy.

Were I to believe ~ I could be at peace and fully joyful.

~ Annette